Dating and relationships are fricken' hard and extra fricken' hard in New York City. There are countless shows and movies about the exciting, yet challenging dating scene in the Big Apple because the unexpected is expected and just when you think it can't get any worse it does.
My dating life is New York has been magical and terrible at the same time. Within the same week, I went out with a guy who said straight-up racist comments throughout dinner and another man who took me on a boat cruise around the city at sunset. The possibilities, for better or for worse, are endless.
About a year ago, I went out with my lady friend on Halloween as her Wing Woman. It was a night that was solely about finding her a hunky guy in a hunky costume to make-out with. We decided to go to a rooftop bar that neither one of us had been to and that's when I met the man of my life that I recently celebrated one fricken' year with - Dave.
Since that fateful meeting, my life has transitioned to a better, healthier, happier and more balanced place. I am so, so very excited and grateful that I found a person who is kind, sweet, funny, smart and understanding to be in my life. I feel even more excited that we have committed to our relationship for over a year! Before Dave, my intimate, exclusive relationship experience was limited and most of it negative. I had extremely low expectations of men and had never found someone who was worth keeping in my life for more than 3 months. Here's what I have learned about being in a relationship, dating and love from our first year as a total power couple.
Expect the Unexpected
That great date you went on last Friday, don't be surprised if he never calls. BUT, do be pleasantly surprised when you fall for someone you may have overlooked or hit it off with someone at the bar that you showed up to in sweats. When I met Dave, I wasn't looking for anything and I ended up finding something wonderful.
Say What You Want
Ladies and gents, if you can't be brutally honest and real about what you want with who you're with, it's not going to work. When Dave and I first started dating, I told him exactly what I wanted and that was an exclusive relationship. There were no blurred lines and that made our relationship clear from the get-go. Do not wait around for the guy to lock it down or plan a romantic date at your favorite restaurant. If you don't say what you want, you're not going to get what you want.
Whatever you do, do not become obsessed with your partner. It's so important to have your own friends, interests and space outside of the relationship. Dave lives about an hour and half from me (NYC subway lifeeee) and although it can be v annoying, it also grants us our own distinct lives and space. I have always cherished my independence and still strongly identify as an independent woman even though I have a boyfriend. This is because I still feel like me while in this relationship and my partner fully supports my need to do my own thing.
Live It Up
If a relationship isn't worth the work, then why you in it boo? I love going on adventures with Dave and it brings magic to our relationship. Please do not become that couple that stays in the apartment all day watching Netflix... or only do that like once a week.
This is the real me: what I love, what makes me happy and what makes me buzz.